my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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