I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
