:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
