i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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