is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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