I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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