is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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