Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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