what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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