At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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