Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
