And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
