Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
she told me i tasted like america
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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