i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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