I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
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