i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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