when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I don't think brook has ever known best
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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