We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
