I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
