I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
we're so committed to being not committed
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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