I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
