I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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