..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
