Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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