I could make wine with my vomit
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
