Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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