How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
