Banned from zoo.
Again?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
