Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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