they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
