Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
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