Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
