I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
