I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
