First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
