you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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