Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
