yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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