apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
