I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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