I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
