Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Non-Jews are for practice
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
