I'm sorry my penis didn't work
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize