I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
