I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
