He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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