Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
where am i from again
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
