i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
