Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
