Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
