it's too hot outside to masturbate.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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