Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
