Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize