It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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