Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
